Wednesday, January 30, 2008

2007 in Review

Granted, I'm behind on posting this to ConservaChick but, in this case, it's well worth the wait! If you like this, you have absolutely got to visit Uncle Jay's website every Monday.

Red Reframing Square

Hats off to The Peoples Cube and Comrade Red Square yet again (and as always) for speaking truth to power and helping us of the power the "truth" with their new article: How to Frame National Debate with Red "Framing" Square

The entire article is VERY enlightening and includes some handy pictures. Here is a handy list from the new article. Be sure to print this and keep it handy during the Democrat debates!

Comrade Red Square's list of Party-approved word proxies to frame
the debate and foster a shift in public perception:

economic boom -> recession (when a Republican is President)
economic bubble -> golden age (when a Democrat is President)
free country -> oppressive regime
oppressive regime -> workers' paradise
electoral process -> failing democracy
socialist dictatorship -> will of the people
export of capitalist democracy -> imperialist war for oil
export of communist revolution -> true democracy
terrorists -> freedom fighters
freedom fighters -> imperialist occupiers, rapists and murderers
rambling communist thug -> idealistic romantic dreamer
hard-working productive individual -> corporate fascist
lowering standards -> raising awareness
degeneracy -> striving urban culture
human excrement -> thought-provoking art
destruction of the family -> social progress
clinical paranoia -> outstanding filmmaking
failing government program -> need to increase funding
destroying a perfectly good economy -> care for the downtrodden
improving the lives of the downtrodden through innovation -> selfish greed
truth telling -> hate speech
hate speech -> sensitivity training
targeting terrorists -> indiscriminate murder of civilians
indiscriminate murder of civilians -> resistance to imperialism
protecting the innocent -> racial profiling
racial profiling -> affirmative action
partisan lies -> unbiased news reporting
unbiased news reporting -> fascist corporate media
fascist stormtrooper tactics -> proactive approach to progress
proactive approach to progress -> destruction of the planet with industries
living human being -> carbon polluter
dead human being -> Democrat voter

Friday, January 11, 2008

How do you spell "hypocrisy?" P-E-T-A

Believe it or not, yours truly was at one time a card-carrying member of PETA and a vegan. I am certainly glad I came to my senses years and years ago or I would have been even more upset when I read this!

Celebrities Answer the Age-old Chicken Riddle

Why did the chicken cross the road?


"The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems."

"Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens."
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
"Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..."
"We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road."
"Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."

"That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."
"To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."
"No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."
"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told."
"To die in the rain. Alone."
"Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that."
"In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."
"Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road."
"Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace."
"It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."
"I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^(C% ......... reboot."
"Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
"I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?"
"I invented the chicken!"
"Did I miss one?"
"Where's my gun?"
"Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens."

(Many thanks to Ken Hays tonight for the major chuckles!)