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Public Service Announcement

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquormanufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened
to your bra and panties.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over
again that you love them.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

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WARNING: - the crumsumpten of alCahol may macke you tihnk yoiu can tipereal gode,

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