...You think being a "proletariat" gives you a right to some cheese with that whine.
...You've named your kids "Government Handouts One" and "Government Handouts Two.” (“Sunshine Cherry Blossom” and “Damn I Was Drunk” would also apply.)
...You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if more people used the “Robin Hood” approach.
...You've ever referred to someone as "an evil [insert hateful Conservative/Republican slur here]". (Meanwhile, you get extremely offended if anyone dares to respond in kind or even slightly questions your patriotism.)
...You've ever thought Jesus would approve of “Pro-Choice, Pro-Gay Marriage, Anti-Christian Liberals” using the phrase “WWJD?”
...You support the “right” to kill innocent babies, but oppose the killing of convicted murderers.
...You think Huey Newton would have actually given a damn as to what you say, and would have actually liked your “white ass.”
...The only “sport” you watch is “Walk for [insert charitable cause here],” because heck, everything else is just too damn violent and competitive, and no one should ever “lose.”
...You think you might remember actually doing something to resolve an issue instead of just talking about it once…but you can't remember when.
...You once broke loose at a party, got totally wasted, had sex with a random stranger, got “knocked up/knocked out” someone else, turned to the government for assistance, sued the host of the party for allowing you to get out of control, and in the end blamed it all on the “evil alcohol corporations.”
...You call US soldiers "cold-blooded murderers" or “baby killers.”
...You've ever referred to the “conspiracy theory regarding” anything.
...You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why can't we all just get along?", “Let's talk about our differences,” “Make Love, Not War” or “Give Peace a Chance.”
...You've ever said, "I can't wait to get a free ride into a Liberal Arts college so that I can show everyone else how intellectual I am."
...You've ever called a secretary or waitress "an oppressed woman held down in a sexist society."
...You buy into the notion of "The Man," and believe that “he” is “watching you.”
...You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny but you watch it because that Nelson kid “speaks on your level.”
...You believe the FBI actually has a list of "Commies in My Neighborhood."
...You let your kids watch Sesame Street only because you consider Oscar the Grouch to be “an appropriate role model.”
...You scream "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!" while making love.
...You've argued that artists and entertainers have a "more informed and intelligent perspective” when it comes to politics.
...When people say "Stalin," you think, "Well hurry up then!"
...You or your “lover” have ever been yelled at "Hey hippie, get a haircut!", while you were out looking for incense and patchouli oil.
...You think Birkenstocks, cargo shorts, and tattered rock band t-shirts are appropriate in a corporate environment.
...You argue that no one needs handguns because that murdering rapist coming in through your window will not hurt you if you "bake him cookies and talk to him.”
...Socialism makes a lot of sense to you and you consider Democracy and Capitalism to be the “true evils” that are only forced upon otherwise peaceful nations by Imperialistic countries such as the US.
...You point to Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, and J.C. Watts as “sellouts;” and you point to Jesse Jackson and Lewis Farrakhan as the “new leaders of the civil rights movement” in America.
...You've ever said “Terrorists, schmerrorists.”
...You've ever said "Global Warming? It sure sounds like a real threat to me. We'll all certainly be dead by the year 2000…um, the year 2005…no wait, the year 2010. (Whew! That gives me another 4 years to spread the doom and gloom while I do absolutely nothing about it myself.)"
...You've ever called education a “right.”
...You look up through a “glass ceiling” and bitch about being held down by “The Man.”
...You wonder if donations to PETA or ALF will increase your credibility.
...You came of age in the '60s and don't remember anything.
...You own a Volvo or a hybrid with a "Gore/Lieberman 2000" or a “Kerry/Edwards '04” sticker…and the year is 2006.
Thanks to Slycon on Louisville Mojo for permission to post his original work of art!!
...You've named your kids "Government Handouts One" and "Government Handouts Two.” (“Sunshine Cherry Blossom” and “Damn I Was Drunk” would also apply.)
...You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if more people used the “Robin Hood” approach.
...You've ever referred to someone as "an evil [insert hateful Conservative/Republican slur here]". (Meanwhile, you get extremely offended if anyone dares to respond in kind or even slightly questions your patriotism.)
...You've ever thought Jesus would approve of “Pro-Choice, Pro-Gay Marriage, Anti-Christian Liberals” using the phrase “WWJD?”
...You support the “right” to kill innocent babies, but oppose the killing of convicted murderers.
...You think Huey Newton would have actually given a damn as to what you say, and would have actually liked your “white ass.”
...The only “sport” you watch is “Walk for [insert charitable cause here],” because heck, everything else is just too damn violent and competitive, and no one should ever “lose.”
...You think you might remember actually doing something to resolve an issue instead of just talking about it once…but you can't remember when.
...You once broke loose at a party, got totally wasted, had sex with a random stranger, got “knocked up/knocked out” someone else, turned to the government for assistance, sued the host of the party for allowing you to get out of control, and in the end blamed it all on the “evil alcohol corporations.”
...You call US soldiers "cold-blooded murderers" or “baby killers.”
...You've ever referred to the “conspiracy theory regarding” anything.
...You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why can't we all just get along?", “Let's talk about our differences,” “Make Love, Not War” or “Give Peace a Chance.”
...You've ever said, "I can't wait to get a free ride into a Liberal Arts college so that I can show everyone else how intellectual I am."
...You've ever called a secretary or waitress "an oppressed woman held down in a sexist society."
...You buy into the notion of "The Man," and believe that “he” is “watching you.”
...You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny but you watch it because that Nelson kid “speaks on your level.”
...You believe the FBI actually has a list of "Commies in My Neighborhood."
...You let your kids watch Sesame Street only because you consider Oscar the Grouch to be “an appropriate role model.”
...You scream "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!" while making love.
...You've argued that artists and entertainers have a "more informed and intelligent perspective” when it comes to politics.
...When people say "Stalin," you think, "Well hurry up then!"
...You or your “lover” have ever been yelled at "Hey hippie, get a haircut!", while you were out looking for incense and patchouli oil.
...You think Birkenstocks, cargo shorts, and tattered rock band t-shirts are appropriate in a corporate environment.
...You argue that no one needs handguns because that murdering rapist coming in through your window will not hurt you if you "bake him cookies and talk to him.”
...Socialism makes a lot of sense to you and you consider Democracy and Capitalism to be the “true evils” that are only forced upon otherwise peaceful nations by Imperialistic countries such as the US.
...You point to Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, and J.C. Watts as “sellouts;” and you point to Jesse Jackson and Lewis Farrakhan as the “new leaders of the civil rights movement” in America.
...You've ever said “Terrorists, schmerrorists.”
...You've ever said "Global Warming? It sure sounds like a real threat to me. We'll all certainly be dead by the year 2000…um, the year 2005…no wait, the year 2010. (Whew! That gives me another 4 years to spread the doom and gloom while I do absolutely nothing about it myself.)"
...You've ever called education a “right.”
...You look up through a “glass ceiling” and bitch about being held down by “The Man.”
...You wonder if donations to PETA or ALF will increase your credibility.
...You came of age in the '60s and don't remember anything.
...You own a Volvo or a hybrid with a "Gore/Lieberman 2000" or a “Kerry/Edwards '04” sticker…and the year is 2006.
Thanks to Slycon on Louisville Mojo for permission to post his original work of art!!
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