Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Southern Humor

A man from Portland, Oregon decided to write a book about churches in the United States. He started by flying to San Francisco and worked his way east.

He began his project by taking photographs and making notes at a very large church in San Francisco. In that church, he saw a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with the sign next to it which read, "Calls: $10,000 a minute." He sought out the pastor and asked about the phone and the sign.

The pastor answered that the golden phone was, in fact, a direct line to heaven and, if the man paid the price, he could talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

He visited churches in Seattle, Denver, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States. At each and every one he found more phones with the same sign. At each and every one he also received the same answer from each pastor.

When he arrived in Kentucky, he stopped to visit a large church in La Grange. He had become accustomed to see the phone in each church and was not surprised that this church had the customary golden telephone too. He was surprised, however, by the sign next to this one: "Calls: 35 cents." Shocked at the difference in price from all the other churches, he asked to talk to the pastor.

"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone. In each church I was told that the phone provides a direct line to God. In the other churches, however, the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. How is that possible when all the other churches charge so much more?"

The pastor smiled and replied, "Son, you're in the south now. This is God's country. It's a local call."


No blog post containing humor of the stereotypical Southern kind is complete without at least one church lady railing against modern, unchristian-like clothing. Enjoy!

[Thanks for sending these my way, Mom. You always seem to know when I need a good laugh.]

And finally, let's end this post of Southern silliness with a piece of video fun from You Tube that uses one of the best songs to come out of the South in years, courtesy of Southern Culture on the Skids.

[Thanks, David, for introducing me to these guys years ago!]


Tammy said...

Yes, all southern women know... the bigger your hair, the closer you are to God! :)

Anonymous said...

Nice tits.